There was an editorial in the EMC last week titled "At children's parties, 'absolutly no presents' makes absolutely no sense" by Sarah Crosbie. As a parent who requests that people don't bring gifts I had to respond. Please keep in mind that these are just my opinions and are not meant to offend anyone. I think that you should do what you feel works for you and your family. I am not judging anyone's choice to have gifts at their child's party and I would expect to not be judged because I don't.
"Why do parents want to quash their kid's fun?" Why does fun equal presents? We are having Evan's friends over to play, splash in the kiddy pool (and other surprises I don't want to spoil) isn't that fun? Secondly, he's only 3. There shouldn't even be an expectation on his part for presents.
"...it's easier to have another parent deny your child something he wants than for you to deny your little angel the Lego Pirate he so desperately desires." Again, he's only 3 so there are no desperate desires for specific toys. I realize this will come as he gets older but when that time comes Evan will have to learn that you just can't have everything you want. I am certainly not going out and buying expensive toys and then telling other people not to buy anything.
"Then, at some point during the party, all the kids gather around the party boy and open the "absolutely no presents" presents." Not here. If people bring gifts we discretely put them aside and open them after everyone has left. I realize that some people enjoy watching the little ones open gifts but in order to not alienate those who respected our wishes we don't open gifts in front of everyone.
"Children don't understand the idea of cost, so a mini $3 Lego figure will more than likely trump the $50 talking Optimus Prime." Very true. But unfortunatly the parents do understand and I feel like there is a lot of pressure to get something the parents will find acceptable. And people don't like to be told how much to spend and what to spend it on. I can't very well put "Gifts under $10 only" Having a "no gifts" policy takes the pressure off financialy. We want invitees to feel as though we want them here to celebrate and not just for the gift they might bring. It also takes away the hassle of what to buy. What one parent thinks is an acceptable toy may not be something we want in our home. It makes more sense to me to request "No Gifts" than to include a wish list of acceptable gifts. Also, I don't know about you but we had 3 parties in May and have 3 more in July. For some people, that's alot. And some people may decline an invite because they feel a financial burden. I would rather you come empty handed than not come because you didn't want to spend the money on a gift.
We don't do this to be mean, or take the fun out of anything or to be holier than thou but I would rather make memories than buy "things" that will get used once or twice, if at all. And I'd hate for other people to spend their hard-earned money on things for our son that he may not use. I am honestly surprised this was such an issue when we started doing it. I thought people would happy to not have to worry about buying another birthday present. But people either love the idea, or hate it I guess.
If someone wants to give you a gift, they will, and you can only accept graciously. We just want people to know it's not expected and don't feel bad if you choose not to bring a gift. Don't feel bad if you do either :) Heck, I love gift giving too and am always happy to bring a gift to someone else's party. I am sure I will eventually give up the "No Gifts" policy. We don't begrudge people for wanting to bring Evan something but we want you to come, have fun and help us celebrate our baby boy....gift or no gift :)
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